Cancer Sucks

Anyone reading this that has cancer, survived cancer, lost a loved one to cancer, or have a loved one with cancer can wholeheartedly agree with that statement.

My grandmother, Mary, has cancer. (You can read more about Mary in previous posts: Mary the Great and Prayers for Mary.) She's actually been battling cancer off & on for 28 years. There have been more years of remission and health than not, but we're now entering the final countdown.

Mary is presently doing injection chemotherapy, and it's kicking her ass. Last night, Mary was admitted to the hospital for pain. Doctors suspect that the pain is due to the chemo (gosh, ya think??). I think the next part of the plan will be to discontinue chemo and begin hospice care. Mary is so very strong, but these last months have made her weak and frail. She is a little, tiny thing now and trying so hard to maintain a positive attitude. When you ask Mary how she is doing, she typically responds, "I'm okay." When she does complain, you know it's been really bad for her. My grandfather, Fritz, is still trying so hard to take care of Mary, but I feel as if he is wearing thin as well.

When you look at Mary, you don't think, "Gosh, she's dying of cancer." But she is. I know we are all dying and that death is inevitable, but I hate that Mary has to suffer through this. She has always had such a zest for life and living, and watching her slowly wane away is painful for all of us. The one thing Mary's always wanted is to maintain a quality of life. That is slowly going away as well. And I know she hates it.

Luckily we were able to spend the night before Mother's Day together as a family. It was Mary & Fritz, my Mom and Rick, my brother Jeffrey, my brother Michael & his wife Danielle and their kids Aeva & Will, and Todd and me. That night was the first night we were all together for over a year. And I feel it was probably our last.

Mary will continue to have ups and downs, but we are all realizing that our time with her is limited more than ever now. I just pray (and ask for you to join me) that God will provide her peace and comfort in the upcoming days/weeks/months - however long we have with her.

I love you, Mary, and I always will.