I heard this song on my iPod while driving to work this morning, and it made me smile. After Todd and I shared our "first dance" at our wedding reception, we invited our family and wedding party to join us on the dance floor. This is the song we chose to play - "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts. What a special time that was to be surrounded by our loved ones.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Four Years Ago Today
We said, "I do."
What a ride it has been! Todd and I have been through more in our four years than most married couples experience in decades or a lifetime. However, I can't imagine going through any of it without my husband.
Happy Anniversary, Todd. I love you!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Seven Years
Seven years ago today, a man and a woman went on a blind date. That wonderful date turned into a lifetime. The man and the woman have been through many ups and downs in the past seven years, but they wouldn't have it any other way - as long as they are together.
Our first photo together with our first snowman, on our first Valentine's Day together.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
March 10th Again!
Three years ago, we became husband and wife. What an incredible day March 10, 2007 was, and what a helluva ride it's been since then. I can't imagine that ride being with anyone else, though.
Photo credit of Melissa Goldberg Photography.
Photo credit of Melissa Goldberg Photography.Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Six Years Ago Today
On November 11, 2003, I met a man on a blind date that changed my life forever. What an amazing first date that was! I knew in a very short time that this man was one that I could never let go. In these past six years, we've been through many ups and downs - ups and downs most couples wouldn't have survived. Our life together has made us stronger as individuals and stronger as partners.
Happy Sixth Dating Anniversary, Todd. Thank you for being my blessing. I love you!
This photo of us was taken on New Year's Eve of 2003 - our first photo and first NYE together.
Happy Sixth Dating Anniversary, Todd. Thank you for being my blessing. I love you!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Trash Your Marriage
My friend Sarah posted the following article on FB today, and since I really liked it, I wanted to share it. Getting married is very easy, while staying married and remaining happy and fulfilled in marriage is the most difficult part. As husbands and wives, we become so close to one another that we often take each other and our relationship for granted.
Maybe we aren't meeting the needs of our spouse as well as not meeting the needs of ourselves. Maybe we speak to one another in ways that we wouldn't ever speak to others. Maybe our own baggage is getting in the way of being a part of a healthy relationship.
It could be so many things (too many to list here!). This article - whether or not you are a Christian - gives you words to think about by telling you the best ways to "trash" your marriage and giving you several ways to build it up instead.
The article looks lengthy, but it is an easy read. And definitely worth the time.
Published on Bible.org (http://bible.org)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trash Your Marriage in 8 Easy Steps
By Sue Bohlin
Created 09/20/2009
Maybe we aren't meeting the needs of our spouse as well as not meeting the needs of ourselves. Maybe we speak to one another in ways that we wouldn't ever speak to others. Maybe our own baggage is getting in the way of being a part of a healthy relationship.
It could be so many things (too many to list here!). This article - whether or not you are a Christian - gives you words to think about by telling you the best ways to "trash" your marriage and giving you several ways to build it up instead.
The article looks lengthy, but it is an easy read. And definitely worth the time.
Published on Bible.org (http://bible.org)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trash Your Marriage in 8 Easy Steps
By Sue Bohlin
Created 09/20/2009
The divorce rate is at an all-time high, and marriages are falling apart everywhere you look. Marriages of church-going people are crashing and burning especially fast. There are forces in our culture that contribute to marriage stresses such as pornography, the prevalence of drivenness, two-career families, and the dynamics of the blended family. But people also make foolish choices to destroy their marriages from within.
Talking about the family, Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands." Ephesians 5:28 exhorts husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, nourishing and cherishing them. God's plan is that we treasure and cultivate our marriages, but it's very easy to trash them instead. Let's take a tongue-in-cheek look at eight ways that people trash their marriages.
Be Selfish
The first step is to be selfish. My pastor once said that the AIDS of marriage is justified self-centeredness. Everything needs to revolve around you because, let's face it, you are at the center of the universe, right? If you find something you like to do that ignores your spouses' feelings and interests, go ahead and do it! Too bad if they don't like it! You only go around once in life, so grab for all the gusto you can get!
Always insist on having things your own way. If you don't get your own way, throw a tantrum. Or freeze your spouse out. Get your kids involved in this game by saying things like, "Would you please ask your father to pass the salt?" Don't be afraid to withhold sex if your spouse isn't letting you have things your own way. There's a lot of power in that, so don't waste it!
If there's only enough money in your budget for what one of you wants, make sure you get what you want. Especially if you're the wage earner, or if you make more than the other. Money is power, and don't be afraid to use it against your spouse!
Make demands instead of requests. Wives, let your husband know that he will do things your way, or you'll make his life miserable. Husbands, when you want your wife to do something, just tell her to do it. "Please" and "thank you" are for the kids. This is your spouse you're talking about—they don't need it. Save all your courtesy for strangers; don't waste it on the person you said you'd spend the rest of your life with.
What we really mean to say:
Selfishness is guaranteed to hurt marriages, so ask for God's help in putting your husband or wife ahead of yourself so you don't trash your marriage.
Pick at Each Other
The second step is to pick at each other. If you know that something you do annoys your spouse, be sure to do it often. And intentionally. When she complains about it, tell her to buzz off, it's not as annoying as the stupid things she does to bug you. The more childish the annoying habit, the better.
Be critical of the smallest thing the other one says and does. Don't let your spouse get away with anything! Stay vigilant for every little offense. Be sure to address these small details with an air of superiority . . . unless it works better for you to act like a martyr, as if you deserve the Nobel Prize for putting up with someone who doesn't squeeze the toothpaste from the end.
Always get the last word when you're arguing. Dr. Phil McGraw has said that the most accurate predictor of divorce is when people don't allow their partners to retreat with dignity. So make your spouse feel whipped and defeated at the end of a fight. As long as you win, that's what matters.
Talking about the family, Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands." Ephesians 5:28 exhorts husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, nourishing and cherishing them. God's plan is that we treasure and cultivate our marriages, but it's very easy to trash them instead. Let's take a tongue-in-cheek look at eight ways that people trash their marriages.
Be Selfish
The first step is to be selfish. My pastor once said that the AIDS of marriage is justified self-centeredness. Everything needs to revolve around you because, let's face it, you are at the center of the universe, right? If you find something you like to do that ignores your spouses' feelings and interests, go ahead and do it! Too bad if they don't like it! You only go around once in life, so grab for all the gusto you can get!
Always insist on having things your own way. If you don't get your own way, throw a tantrum. Or freeze your spouse out. Get your kids involved in this game by saying things like, "Would you please ask your father to pass the salt?" Don't be afraid to withhold sex if your spouse isn't letting you have things your own way. There's a lot of power in that, so don't waste it!
If there's only enough money in your budget for what one of you wants, make sure you get what you want. Especially if you're the wage earner, or if you make more than the other. Money is power, and don't be afraid to use it against your spouse!
Make demands instead of requests. Wives, let your husband know that he will do things your way, or you'll make his life miserable. Husbands, when you want your wife to do something, just tell her to do it. "Please" and "thank you" are for the kids. This is your spouse you're talking about—they don't need it. Save all your courtesy for strangers; don't waste it on the person you said you'd spend the rest of your life with.
What we really mean to say:
Selfishness is guaranteed to hurt marriages, so ask for God's help in putting your husband or wife ahead of yourself so you don't trash your marriage.
Pick at Each Other
The second step is to pick at each other. If you know that something you do annoys your spouse, be sure to do it often. And intentionally. When she complains about it, tell her to buzz off, it's not as annoying as the stupid things she does to bug you. The more childish the annoying habit, the better.
Be critical of the smallest thing the other one says and does. Don't let your spouse get away with anything! Stay vigilant for every little offense. Be sure to address these small details with an air of superiority . . . unless it works better for you to act like a martyr, as if you deserve the Nobel Prize for putting up with someone who doesn't squeeze the toothpaste from the end.
Always get the last word when you're arguing. Dr. Phil McGraw has said that the most accurate predictor of divorce is when people don't allow their partners to retreat with dignity. So make your spouse feel whipped and defeated at the end of a fight. As long as you win, that's what matters.
Let The Kids Be More Important
A third step to trashing your marriage is to let the kids become more important than your spouse. Moms, make your husband feel left out of the intimate, secret relationship between you and your baby. As the baby grows, continue to draw the line where it's you and your child on one side, your husband on the other. Keep your Mommy hat on all day and all night. Your kids don't care if your hair is brushed and if you put on perfume and a little makeup before Daddy comes home, so why should he?
Dads, invest all your energies into making your child succeed at what he's good at, or what you want him to be good at. Squeeze out Mom so that you will be your kid's favorite parent. Work so hard on homework and school projects that there's no time for family time.
Let the kids and your other priorities crowd out your "alone together" time. Date nights are for unmarried people! In order to be fulfilled as a person, it is essential to invest all your energies in parenting, career, housework, church commitments and hobbies, so don't worry if there isn't enough time left over for the two of you. It's no big deal. There's always tomorrow. Or next year.
What we really mean to say:
Hey! If you find yourself doing these things, stop! You don't have to trash your marriage!
Show Disrespect
Show disrespect for your spouse, especially in public. One of the best ways to disrespect your partner is ugly name-calling, especially about things he or she can't change. However, the old standbys of "stupid," "fat," "ugly," "weak," and "loser" are always effective, too.
Complain about your spouse to your friends. It's even more powerful if you do it in front of your spouse. Then, if he objects, punch him in the arm and say, "I'm just kidding! You take everything so seriously!"
There are a number of ways to show disrespect with nonverbal communication. Roll your eyes, cluck your tongue, narrow your eyes in contempt. The heavy sigh is a real winner, too.
Wives: Straighten out your husband when he makes a mistake, especially in front of others. Lecture him. Ridicule him: his feelings, his behavior, his dreams, his thoughts. Do everything you can to emasculate your husband. Husbands: Let your wife know you think your opinion is better than hers. Interrupt her when she's speaking.
Refuse to Meet Emotional Needs
Another easy way to trash your marriage is to refuse to meet your spouse's emotional needs. Men and women need different things from their life partners. Dr. Willard Harley discovered and examined a pattern in his excellent book His Needs, Her Needs. Husbands' top needs, it turns out, are: first of all sexual fulfillment; second, recreational companionship; third, an attractive spouse; fourth, domestic support; and fifth, admiration. Wives, if you want to trash your marriage, ignore his need for sex and that you be there for him in leisure time. Blow off his desire that you look your best and he can be proud that you're his wife. Make your home as stressful and chaotic as you can, and never, ever tell him what you admire about him.
Wives' top needs are: first of all affection; second conversations; third, honesty and openness; fourth, financial commitment; and fifth, family commitment. So guys, if you want to trash your marriage, don't show your wife you love and appreciate her. Don't talk to her. Close off your heart to her. Make her constantly worry about finances. Don't be a faithful husband and father.
Dr. Harley's got a Web site, MarriageBuilders.com [1], that has a lot of good, practical information for building strong marriages, so you'd better stay away from there if you're not interested in being intentional and constructive!
Remember, we're being tongue-in-cheek here. We want you to build your marriage, not trash it!
Treat Your Friends Better than Your Spouse
The sixth easy step to trashing your marriage is to treat your friends better than your spouse. Since a lot of men unfortunately don't even have friends, this is something women tend to do more. Women know how to treat their girlfriends. They call them up just to encourage them. They drop off flowers for no reason. They send them cards, and they listen intently to whatever's going on in their lives. They are emotionally invested in their friends. They are quick to mention when someone looks nice or does something well because women are usually good at affirming each other. If you want to trash your marriage, don't do any of these thoughtful kindnesses for your husband. If your girlfriend is having a bad day, go out of your way to take her a wonderful casserole and fresh salad and dessert . . . but serve your husband Spaghetti-O's.
But husbands, if your wife needs you for something at home, and your buddy scores some tickets to a game, tell your wife "too bad, so sad." After all, she'll be around forever but tonight's hockey game won't. If someone at church or in the neighborhood needs something fixed, drop everything to take care of it, even if it means that the broken things around your house will continue to go unfixed.
Be a Pansy
Step number seven for trashing your marriage has two parts. Husbands, be a pansy. Retreat into the safety of passivity. Refuse to take initiative or responsibility in making plans or suggestions. That way, when things go wrong, you can say, "Don't blame me! It's not my fault!" These are great ways to trash your marriage.
Be His Mother
Wives, be a mother to your husband. When people ask how many children you have, say things like, "Two—three, if you count my husband." Tell him to wear a coat when it's cold and take an umbrella when it's raining, because he can't figure it out on his own. Be sure to say "I told you so" as often as possible. If he is passive or irresponsible, jump in and rescue him so he won't have to deal with the consequences of his own choices. Make sure he feels three years old. Tell him how to live his life, down to the smallest detail.
What we really mean to say:
Please, if you find yourself doing these things, ask for God's help in being constructive instead of destructive. We want to help you build your marriage, not trash it.
When You're Angry, Blow Up
Let's talk about one final way to trash your marriage. Yell and scream, or quietly say hurtful words; it doesn't matter. Inflicting pain is the important thing. Call each other names in the heat of your emotion. Dredge up the past and bring up old hurts. You can hit or slap with words as well as with hands, and they each leave a different kind of lasting damage to your spouse and to your marriage. Losing control when you're angry is a powerful way to hurt your spouse.
Build Your Marriage in Eight Harder Steps
Well, enough of ways to trash your marriage—how about eight steps to build it? All we have to do is look at the opposite of this article's negative, destructive steps.
To build your marriage, fight selfishness by developing a servant's heart. Commit yourself to acting in your spouse's best interests. Do at least one unselfish deed for your husband or wife every day.
Second, instead of picking at each other, choose to let things go. Be grace-givers. Remember that "love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Pet. 4:8).
Third, be intentional in keeping your marriage at the center of your family. Have regular date nights, and schedule times away to invest in the intimacy of your relationship. Go to a FamilyLife Marriage Conference (www.familylife.com [2]).
Fourth, commit to actively be respectful to your spouse by never saying anything negative to other people. Be kind in your words and actions. Treat each other as courteously and with the kind of honor you would bestow on a stranger or a dear friend.
Fifth, talk about your spouse's particular emotional needs [3]. Read Willard Harley's excellent book His Needs, Her Needs. Find out which ones are most important to your partner, and do everything in your power to meet them.
Sixth, treat your husband or wife at least as well as you treat your friends. Be as thoughtful and encouraging and affirming as you can possibly be.
Seventh: Ladies, resign as your husband's mother. You married an adult; treat him with the respect an adult deserves. Men: Your wife needs a servant-leader—someone who refuses either passivity or tyranny—to love her as Christ loves the church.
And last, when you're angry, express it wisely and constructively. Use words like "I'm angry about this" instead of yelling or hurtful silence. If you're too mad to speak with self-control, wait till you cool down. And don't go to bed without dealing with the situation (Eph. 4:26).
You don't have to trash your marriage. You can treasure it instead.
© 2003 Probe Ministries
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Source URL: http://bible.org/article/trash-your-marriage-8-easy-steps
Links:
[1] http://www.marriagebuilders.com
[2] http://www.familylife.com
[3] http://bible.org/www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4219465/k.CB69/Adultery.htm%2523preventing
A third step to trashing your marriage is to let the kids become more important than your spouse. Moms, make your husband feel left out of the intimate, secret relationship between you and your baby. As the baby grows, continue to draw the line where it's you and your child on one side, your husband on the other. Keep your Mommy hat on all day and all night. Your kids don't care if your hair is brushed and if you put on perfume and a little makeup before Daddy comes home, so why should he?
Dads, invest all your energies into making your child succeed at what he's good at, or what you want him to be good at. Squeeze out Mom so that you will be your kid's favorite parent. Work so hard on homework and school projects that there's no time for family time.
Let the kids and your other priorities crowd out your "alone together" time. Date nights are for unmarried people! In order to be fulfilled as a person, it is essential to invest all your energies in parenting, career, housework, church commitments and hobbies, so don't worry if there isn't enough time left over for the two of you. It's no big deal. There's always tomorrow. Or next year.
What we really mean to say:
Hey! If you find yourself doing these things, stop! You don't have to trash your marriage!
Show Disrespect
Show disrespect for your spouse, especially in public. One of the best ways to disrespect your partner is ugly name-calling, especially about things he or she can't change. However, the old standbys of "stupid," "fat," "ugly," "weak," and "loser" are always effective, too.
Complain about your spouse to your friends. It's even more powerful if you do it in front of your spouse. Then, if he objects, punch him in the arm and say, "I'm just kidding! You take everything so seriously!"
There are a number of ways to show disrespect with nonverbal communication. Roll your eyes, cluck your tongue, narrow your eyes in contempt. The heavy sigh is a real winner, too.
Wives: Straighten out your husband when he makes a mistake, especially in front of others. Lecture him. Ridicule him: his feelings, his behavior, his dreams, his thoughts. Do everything you can to emasculate your husband. Husbands: Let your wife know you think your opinion is better than hers. Interrupt her when she's speaking.
Refuse to Meet Emotional Needs
Another easy way to trash your marriage is to refuse to meet your spouse's emotional needs. Men and women need different things from their life partners. Dr. Willard Harley discovered and examined a pattern in his excellent book His Needs, Her Needs. Husbands' top needs, it turns out, are: first of all sexual fulfillment; second, recreational companionship; third, an attractive spouse; fourth, domestic support; and fifth, admiration. Wives, if you want to trash your marriage, ignore his need for sex and that you be there for him in leisure time. Blow off his desire that you look your best and he can be proud that you're his wife. Make your home as stressful and chaotic as you can, and never, ever tell him what you admire about him.
Wives' top needs are: first of all affection; second conversations; third, honesty and openness; fourth, financial commitment; and fifth, family commitment. So guys, if you want to trash your marriage, don't show your wife you love and appreciate her. Don't talk to her. Close off your heart to her. Make her constantly worry about finances. Don't be a faithful husband and father.
Dr. Harley's got a Web site, MarriageBuilders.com [1], that has a lot of good, practical information for building strong marriages, so you'd better stay away from there if you're not interested in being intentional and constructive!
Remember, we're being tongue-in-cheek here. We want you to build your marriage, not trash it!
Treat Your Friends Better than Your Spouse
The sixth easy step to trashing your marriage is to treat your friends better than your spouse. Since a lot of men unfortunately don't even have friends, this is something women tend to do more. Women know how to treat their girlfriends. They call them up just to encourage them. They drop off flowers for no reason. They send them cards, and they listen intently to whatever's going on in their lives. They are emotionally invested in their friends. They are quick to mention when someone looks nice or does something well because women are usually good at affirming each other. If you want to trash your marriage, don't do any of these thoughtful kindnesses for your husband. If your girlfriend is having a bad day, go out of your way to take her a wonderful casserole and fresh salad and dessert . . . but serve your husband Spaghetti-O's.
But husbands, if your wife needs you for something at home, and your buddy scores some tickets to a game, tell your wife "too bad, so sad." After all, she'll be around forever but tonight's hockey game won't. If someone at church or in the neighborhood needs something fixed, drop everything to take care of it, even if it means that the broken things around your house will continue to go unfixed.
Be a Pansy
Step number seven for trashing your marriage has two parts. Husbands, be a pansy. Retreat into the safety of passivity. Refuse to take initiative or responsibility in making plans or suggestions. That way, when things go wrong, you can say, "Don't blame me! It's not my fault!" These are great ways to trash your marriage.
Be His Mother
Wives, be a mother to your husband. When people ask how many children you have, say things like, "Two—three, if you count my husband." Tell him to wear a coat when it's cold and take an umbrella when it's raining, because he can't figure it out on his own. Be sure to say "I told you so" as often as possible. If he is passive or irresponsible, jump in and rescue him so he won't have to deal with the consequences of his own choices. Make sure he feels three years old. Tell him how to live his life, down to the smallest detail.
What we really mean to say:
Please, if you find yourself doing these things, ask for God's help in being constructive instead of destructive. We want to help you build your marriage, not trash it.
When You're Angry, Blow Up
Let's talk about one final way to trash your marriage. Yell and scream, or quietly say hurtful words; it doesn't matter. Inflicting pain is the important thing. Call each other names in the heat of your emotion. Dredge up the past and bring up old hurts. You can hit or slap with words as well as with hands, and they each leave a different kind of lasting damage to your spouse and to your marriage. Losing control when you're angry is a powerful way to hurt your spouse.
Build Your Marriage in Eight Harder Steps
Well, enough of ways to trash your marriage—how about eight steps to build it? All we have to do is look at the opposite of this article's negative, destructive steps.
To build your marriage, fight selfishness by developing a servant's heart. Commit yourself to acting in your spouse's best interests. Do at least one unselfish deed for your husband or wife every day.
Second, instead of picking at each other, choose to let things go. Be grace-givers. Remember that "love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Pet. 4:8).
Third, be intentional in keeping your marriage at the center of your family. Have regular date nights, and schedule times away to invest in the intimacy of your relationship. Go to a FamilyLife Marriage Conference (www.familylife.com [2]).
Fourth, commit to actively be respectful to your spouse by never saying anything negative to other people. Be kind in your words and actions. Treat each other as courteously and with the kind of honor you would bestow on a stranger or a dear friend.
Fifth, talk about your spouse's particular emotional needs [3]. Read Willard Harley's excellent book His Needs, Her Needs. Find out which ones are most important to your partner, and do everything in your power to meet them.
Sixth, treat your husband or wife at least as well as you treat your friends. Be as thoughtful and encouraging and affirming as you can possibly be.
Seventh: Ladies, resign as your husband's mother. You married an adult; treat him with the respect an adult deserves. Men: Your wife needs a servant-leader—someone who refuses either passivity or tyranny—to love her as Christ loves the church.
And last, when you're angry, express it wisely and constructively. Use words like "I'm angry about this" instead of yelling or hurtful silence. If you're too mad to speak with self-control, wait till you cool down. And don't go to bed without dealing with the situation (Eph. 4:26).
You don't have to trash your marriage. You can treasure it instead.
© 2003 Probe Ministries
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Source URL: http://bible.org/article/trash-your-marriage-8-easy-steps
Links:
[1] http://www.marriagebuilders.com
[2] http://www.familylife.com
[3] http://bible.org/www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4219465/k.CB69/Adultery.htm%2523preventing
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Two Years Ago Today . . .
I married the most amazing, perfectly-made man for me. We have been through more in the past two years than many couples must endure -- family health problems, losing three pregnancies, surgeries, work-related stress, and more -- but what's important is that we have endured.
I love this man more than I thought I could. God truly made him for me. He has a strength, heart, patience, kindness, and moral compass that many of us could only strive to possess. I am proud to call him my husband.
I love this man more than I thought I could. God truly made him for me. He has a strength, heart, patience, kindness, and moral compass that many of us could only strive to possess. I am proud to call him my husband.
I love you, Todd, and I am honored and proud to be your wife. May God bless us with many years to come.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Speaking of Thankful
Yes, Thanksgiving is now over, but it is still important to be thankful every day. One person for whom I am very thankful is Todd. I took this idea from my new blogernet friend, Jen, as she remembered her husband Shawn on what would have/should have been his 32nd birthday.
About Our Husbands . . .
1) Where did you meet? Todd and I met on a blind date after "meeting" on match.com. Our first date/meeting was at the Flying Saucer on Friday, November 11, 2003.
2) How long did you date before you got married? We dated for almost three years before we were *finally* engaged. (We lived in sin for about two years before that.) We were married one day short of 3 years, 4 months of our first date.
3) How long have you been married? We have been married for 1 year, 8 months (since March 10, 2007). What a ride it's been already! We are looking forward to many, many years ahead of us.
4) What is your favorite feature of his? Physical feature? I would have to say his gorgeous, bright, blue eyes. Mmmmmm.
5) What is your favorite quality of his? There are many ~ that's why I married him! Let's see . . . Todd is sentimental, nostalgic, calm, responsible, tender-hearted, kind, courteous, hard working, funny, passionate, industrious . . . I could go on for days.
6) Does he have a nickname for you? Kris (which is reserved for family and a select few friends), Babe, Dear.
7) What is his favorite food? Pad Thai, good cheeseburgers
8) What is his favorite sport? Football. He doesn't really care for any other sports.
9) When and where was your first kiss? Our first kiss was on our first date. We left the Flying Saucer and went to Mercy (a wine bar) nearby. They have such a unique and wonderful atmosphere there. Between the wine and the ambience, we just couldn't help ourselves. :)
10) What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Spend time together and with our pets. What more could we ask for?
11) Do you have any children? Unfortunately, no. We lost three babies in our first year of marriage, and are hoping to have a successful pregnancy underway before our second anniversary.
12) Does he have a hidden talent? Now, I couldn't tell you THAT, could I?!
13) How old is he? Todd is 39 years old. Yep, I'm a cradle robber. ha!
14) Who said "I love you" first? He did, but only because I waited. It was in October of 2004, almost a year after we met. Todd was taking our baby dog, Steve, to the vet to get neutered. I was crying and upset (worried about my baby), and told Todd that I just couldn't go with them to drop Stevie off at the nut-choppers. Before he left, he came into the room and hugged me goodbye. I was bawling, and he just held me and said, "I love you, Dear." My eyes are tearing up just typing this. Funny story, but it meant the world to me then and still does today.
15) What is his favorite type of music? Todd has the most eclectic music tastes of anyone I've ever met. Let's just say he doesn't like what I like (which is close to everything).
16) What do you admire the most about him? His kind and gentle nature, sense of humor, and sense of responsibility.
17) Do you think he will read this? No, he hates this blog. Todd is very private, and he doesn't like the fact that I'm "publicizing" our world to everyone. I'm still working on converting him. :)
About Our Husbands . . .
1) Where did you meet? Todd and I met on a blind date after "meeting" on match.com. Our first date/meeting was at the Flying Saucer on Friday, November 11, 2003.
2) How long did you date before you got married? We dated for almost three years before we were *finally* engaged. (We lived in sin for about two years before that.) We were married one day short of 3 years, 4 months of our first date.
3) How long have you been married? We have been married for 1 year, 8 months (since March 10, 2007). What a ride it's been already! We are looking forward to many, many years ahead of us.
4) What is your favorite feature of his? Physical feature? I would have to say his gorgeous, bright, blue eyes. Mmmmmm.
5) What is your favorite quality of his? There are many ~ that's why I married him! Let's see . . . Todd is sentimental, nostalgic, calm, responsible, tender-hearted, kind, courteous, hard working, funny, passionate, industrious . . . I could go on for days.
6) Does he have a nickname for you? Kris (which is reserved for family and a select few friends), Babe, Dear.
7) What is his favorite food? Pad Thai, good cheeseburgers
8) What is his favorite sport? Football. He doesn't really care for any other sports.
9) When and where was your first kiss? Our first kiss was on our first date. We left the Flying Saucer and went to Mercy (a wine bar) nearby. They have such a unique and wonderful atmosphere there. Between the wine and the ambience, we just couldn't help ourselves. :)
10) What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Spend time together and with our pets. What more could we ask for?
11) Do you have any children? Unfortunately, no. We lost three babies in our first year of marriage, and are hoping to have a successful pregnancy underway before our second anniversary.
12) Does he have a hidden talent? Now, I couldn't tell you THAT, could I?!
13) How old is he? Todd is 39 years old. Yep, I'm a cradle robber. ha!
14) Who said "I love you" first? He did, but only because I waited. It was in October of 2004, almost a year after we met. Todd was taking our baby dog, Steve, to the vet to get neutered. I was crying and upset (worried about my baby), and told Todd that I just couldn't go with them to drop Stevie off at the nut-choppers. Before he left, he came into the room and hugged me goodbye. I was bawling, and he just held me and said, "I love you, Dear." My eyes are tearing up just typing this. Funny story, but it meant the world to me then and still does today.
15) What is his favorite type of music? Todd has the most eclectic music tastes of anyone I've ever met. Let's just say he doesn't like what I like (which is close to everything).
16) What do you admire the most about him? His kind and gentle nature, sense of humor, and sense of responsibility.
17) Do you think he will read this? No, he hates this blog. Todd is very private, and he doesn't like the fact that I'm "publicizing" our world to everyone. I'm still working on converting him. :)
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Marriage Survey
How long have you been married?
1 Year, 8 months and 3 weeks.
Is this your first marriage?
My first. Todd had a practice marriage before me.
Is it how you imagined it would be?
Yes and no. Our first year was the roughest ever, so I think if we can survive that - we can make it through just about anything.
What would you change?
Nothing we haven't already discussed.
Are you married to your soulmate?
I don't know about soulmates, but I can't imagine not being married to Todd!
What do you argue about the most?
Just communication (or lack thereof) related stuff.
What do you see eye to eye on the most?
I just asked Todd, and he replied, "I don't know. That is a very deep question and I'm not feeling very deep right now." I agree.
Where did you meet your spouse?
Match.com
Where was your first date?
The Flying Saucer
Where were you when you became engaged?
We were at Thai Garden, a restaurant near our home.
Did you live together before marriage?
Yes, for over two years.
What was your wedding song?
Our first dance was to "At Last" by Etta James. It was the only song we'd dance to together besides "Pussy Control" by Prince. Seriously.
Who was in your wedding party?
Gosh . . . my wedding party had been decided YEARS before I met Todd! My BFF & oldest sister were my Matrons of Honor. Four of my sorority sisters (3 were pledge sisters) were my bridesmaids. Todd's brother was his Best Man. His groomsmen included his cousin, a few high school & college friends, and a friend who is kind of a cousin (his cousin's cousin). Two of my nieces were our flower girls, and our cousin's cousins' two oldest boys were our ringbearers. You still with me?
Do you get along with the in-laws?
I'll say yes and no. Anyone who knows me/us knows the full answer. :)
Whats your view on children?
We want them. Now. Todd is a bit scared of multiples, but I'll take whatever we get!
Does your spouse feel the same way?
See above.
Are you a 2 peas in a pod or opposites attract couple?
We are complete total opposites. Completely. I'm loud and social, he's a reserved people-watcher. I'm often careless, he's responsible. I like reality TV, he hates it. I like order, he can handle a mess. I like to lounge, he's industrious. Those are a few examples.
Do you go out without your spouse?
Yes. He's fine with it. He even lets me go to work. :)
How long are you away from your spouse before you start to miss him/her?
About a day.
Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you have dated in the past?
I'm sure I have as many years that I dated before meeting Todd.
Do you trust your Spouse?
Completely and totally. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't. I told him not long after we started dating that if he ever cheated on me that I would be gone, and he'd never see or hear from me again.
Does your Spouse trust you?
Yes.
How well does your spouse know your favorites?
He knows me better than I'd like to admit!
Do you get along with your spouses friends?
Yes.
Does your spouse get along with your friends?
Yes.
Did you go on a honeymoon?
Oh, yes. We went to St. Thomas, USVI and want to go back. Now.
Do you watch the same TV shows?
NOT. AT. ALL. The only shows we'll watch together are The Office, The Wire, America's Funniest Home Videos, and 60 Minutes.
Can you agree on Pizza toppings?
Yes. He likes black olives & I don't, so I just pick off stuff I don't like and throw it on his pizza (or whatever he's eating).
Who takes out the trash?
Him more than me.
Who does laundry??
We do our own laundry. (benefit of getting married at an older age) The maid does sheets & towels.
Who cooks dinner?
Me.
Do you have any traditions?
Not really, but we want to develop some for when we have children. There are a few Christmas traditions and Sunday breakfasts that we have already.
Do you know your spouses passwords/pins?
Some, but I usually forget them.
Does your spouse know your social security number?
Know as in memorized? No. He has it though.
Do you ever nag your spouse?
Me? Nag? What a silly question!
Do you admit wrong doing?
Yes, if I'm in the wrong.
Does your spouse?
Yes, if he's in the wrong.
1 Year, 8 months and 3 weeks.
Is this your first marriage?
My first. Todd had a practice marriage before me.
Is it how you imagined it would be?
Yes and no. Our first year was the roughest ever, so I think if we can survive that - we can make it through just about anything.
What would you change?
Nothing we haven't already discussed.
Are you married to your soulmate?
I don't know about soulmates, but I can't imagine not being married to Todd!
What do you argue about the most?
Just communication (or lack thereof) related stuff.
What do you see eye to eye on the most?
I just asked Todd, and he replied, "I don't know. That is a very deep question and I'm not feeling very deep right now." I agree.
Where did you meet your spouse?
Match.com
Where was your first date?
The Flying Saucer
Where were you when you became engaged?
We were at Thai Garden, a restaurant near our home.
Did you live together before marriage?
Yes, for over two years.
What was your wedding song?
Our first dance was to "At Last" by Etta James. It was the only song we'd dance to together besides "Pussy Control" by Prince. Seriously.
Who was in your wedding party?
Gosh . . . my wedding party had been decided YEARS before I met Todd! My BFF & oldest sister were my Matrons of Honor. Four of my sorority sisters (3 were pledge sisters) were my bridesmaids. Todd's brother was his Best Man. His groomsmen included his cousin, a few high school & college friends, and a friend who is kind of a cousin (his cousin's cousin). Two of my nieces were our flower girls, and our cousin's cousins' two oldest boys were our ringbearers. You still with me?
Do you get along with the in-laws?
I'll say yes and no. Anyone who knows me/us knows the full answer. :)
Whats your view on children?
We want them. Now. Todd is a bit scared of multiples, but I'll take whatever we get!
Does your spouse feel the same way?
See above.
Are you a 2 peas in a pod or opposites attract couple?
We are complete total opposites. Completely. I'm loud and social, he's a reserved people-watcher. I'm often careless, he's responsible. I like reality TV, he hates it. I like order, he can handle a mess. I like to lounge, he's industrious. Those are a few examples.
Do you go out without your spouse?
Yes. He's fine with it. He even lets me go to work. :)
How long are you away from your spouse before you start to miss him/her?
About a day.
Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you have dated in the past?
I'm sure I have as many years that I dated before meeting Todd.
Do you trust your Spouse?
Completely and totally. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't. I told him not long after we started dating that if he ever cheated on me that I would be gone, and he'd never see or hear from me again.
Does your Spouse trust you?
Yes.
How well does your spouse know your favorites?
He knows me better than I'd like to admit!
Do you get along with your spouses friends?
Yes.
Does your spouse get along with your friends?
Yes.
Did you go on a honeymoon?
Oh, yes. We went to St. Thomas, USVI and want to go back. Now.
Do you watch the same TV shows?
NOT. AT. ALL. The only shows we'll watch together are The Office, The Wire, America's Funniest Home Videos, and 60 Minutes.
Can you agree on Pizza toppings?
Yes. He likes black olives & I don't, so I just pick off stuff I don't like and throw it on his pizza (or whatever he's eating).
Who takes out the trash?
Him more than me.
Who does laundry??
We do our own laundry. (benefit of getting married at an older age) The maid does sheets & towels.
Who cooks dinner?
Me.
Do you have any traditions?
Not really, but we want to develop some for when we have children. There are a few Christmas traditions and Sunday breakfasts that we have already.
Do you know your spouses passwords/pins?
Some, but I usually forget them.
Does your spouse know your social security number?
Know as in memorized? No. He has it though.
Do you ever nag your spouse?
Me? Nag? What a silly question!
Do you admit wrong doing?
Yes, if I'm in the wrong.
Does your spouse?
Yes, if he's in the wrong.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Important Stuff - Naming Our Future Children
I found this photo while catching up on Google Reader and perusing the recipes on Pioneer Woman's Website, and it brought back many fond memories of planning my future when I was a child. Behold, Bob Barker and "Barker's Beauties." (**the angels begin to sing a beautiful tune**)
aaahhhh . . . My sisters and I used to spend an hour of each summer morning playing The Price is Right in our living room. I have always loved that game show and enjoyed watching Barker's Beauties (Dian, Holly & Janice for those of you who are still with me). In fact, I still watch on a rare occasion even though Bob and HIS beauties are no longer on the show. However, Janice was always my favorite. (And yeah, yeah, she was probably banging Bob. I know.) She even uses a heart in her signature as I often do.
When I asked Todd just now what he would say if I told him I'd like to name our first daughter Janice he responded, "That's interesting." In Todd-speak that means hell no, our first daughter will NOT be named Janice. And now, over 25 years later, I must agree with my husband. He is so smart and insightful.
And don't forget to spay & neuter your pets!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Five Years Ago Today . . .
. . . Todd and I met for our first date. It's amazing that it's already been five years. Friday, November 11, 2003 --- what a night that was! There are a few hilarious stories that accompany that evening. I'll try to write about it in the future when I have time to get it all down. What I will tell you is when Todd called me the next day, I was smitten! There were only a few days a couple of weeks afterwards (when he was out of town for the holidays) that we didn't not talk. I'm so blessed to have such a kind, thoughtful, and respectful man as my husband.
In the past five years, we've grown to know, love, and care for one another like noone else. We have established not only our house but our home and the beginnings of our family. Since getting married almost two years ago, we have had even more wonderful times as well as some amazingly difficult times. No matter what though, we are committed to one another and to our marriage.
Here are a few of the first pictures of us as a couple:
Valentine's Day, 2004 - yes a big snowstorm came through that day!
March 5, 2004 - Bowling with friends on my birthday.
March 6, 2004 at the Dallas Irish Festival:
March 6, 2004 at the Dallas Irish Festival:
I love you, Todd, and look forward to the next 5, 15, 20, 25, and more years with you! Thank you for being my blessing.
On another note, today is also Veterans' Day. Please take time to thank and pray for those who have fought for our country in the past as well as those who are doing the same today.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Man vs. Woman
Tuesday night, Todd and I were on our way back home from dinner. During our short drive, the conversation went like this:
K: Do you think we should take the pups to the park on Sunday? Maybe we could wear them out before we meet Melissa for our "family" portraits that evening.
T: I don't know. The only thing I'm thinking about is driving home right now.
K: Okay.
. . . silence . . .
K: That was a prime example of men vs. women, huh? You're thinking of one thing - driving us a few miles down the road - and I have a thousand things running through my head right now.
T: Mmhmm.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Guess I Really Am Tired
Case in Point #1: Todd and I were sitting in the den early this evening just chatting & talking about our day. Apparently for no reason I told Todd to shut up - and I don't even remember it. Even right after I supposedly said it, I didn't know that I had. Todd's not one to make stuff like that up, so I had to apologize for saying shut up to him. Even though I still have NO recollection of it.
Case in Point #2: Less than an hour later, I asked Todd what the date for Election Day was in November. I asked him if it was the 11th & he said no. After looking at his calendar, he told me it was the 4th. I racked my brain over & over trying to figure out why I remembered Nov. 11th. (My brain stores up information like dates, phone numbers, etc.) I told Todd that I knew SOMETHING was on the 11th - like a holiday or something. He checked his calendar for me & said, "Nope. Nothing."
I kept thinking. Finally, he said, "The first date we had?" AAAHHHH! YES!!! The date of our first date in 2003. Geez. I always remember stuff like that. The fact that TODD actually remembered it first proves that I'm tired.
I'm in bed getting ready to do some school stuff & go to sleep. I'm sure I'll never catch up.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Two Years Ago Today
Todd and I became engaged. :) It seems like yesterday that he asked me to be his wife. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing husband to love. The full story of the proposal is on our website.
I think this picture is so funny because we had several photos taken of us after Todd proposed. Our poor, little waitress didn't speak much English and (surprisingly) couldn't work our simple digital camera. Most of the pics were blurry or had bad lighting. This pic is the last she took & by then Todd was getting irritated and wasn't smiling. I promise he smiled in all of the others!!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Just Because
My amazing husband brought me flowers today --- for no reason!!! While it may not sound like a big deal, it is to me! Todd has given me flowers twice - once for my birthday four years ago & for our one-year dating anniversary.
I am just thrilled and being a complete attention whore about it because he made me so happy. Sometimes it's just the little things, isn't it?
I am just thrilled and being a complete attention whore about it because he made me so happy. Sometimes it's just the little things, isn't it?
Friday, February 15, 2008
Valentine's Romance
Valetine's Day was a typical day at our house - get up, go to work, come home. However, we had some special time together and with our animals. Here's a video to show you the beginning of our special time together. It may be a bit difficult to hear Todd, but you'll get the gist of it!
After our backyard fun, we cooked a fabulous (and HUGE) dinner. We had steak, garlic mashed potatoes, bacon-wrapped asparagus, grilled onions and peppers, sauteed cremini mushrooms, and salad. We enjoyed it with a wonderful bottle of wine that we received as a wedding gift. For dessert, we had chocolate lava cakes with vanilla ice cream. No pictures since they went so fast!
It's about time we put some of our new china, flatware, and Waterford to use! Our first Valentine's Day as a married couple was fun, relaxing, enjoyable, and spent together - just like we like it.
After our backyard fun, we cooked a fabulous (and HUGE) dinner. We had steak, garlic mashed potatoes, bacon-wrapped asparagus, grilled onions and peppers, sauteed cremini mushrooms, and salad. We enjoyed it with a wonderful bottle of wine that we received as a wedding gift. For dessert, we had chocolate lava cakes with vanilla ice cream. No pictures since they went so fast!
It's about time we put some of our new china, flatware, and Waterford to use! Our first Valentine's Day as a married couple was fun, relaxing, enjoyable, and spent together - just like we like it.
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