Adios Mi Pelo

Adios Mi Pelo in Ingles = Goodbye My Hair.

I got my hair whacked off on Tuesday night. And I hate it. I even cried in the chair at the salon while my hair lady's assistant was drying it. The poor girl didn't know what to do with me. Luckily, Mina (my hair lady) knows about our two losses and has been watching me lose my hair since May. Mina was really sweet and just hugged me and told me she understood since she's been through it, too. I wish I could've picked those five inches of hair scraps off the floor and glued them back on. I knew it was time for the hair to go, but I hate it. HATE it. Did I tell you how bad I hate it? Don't even ask to see a photo because I'll be hiding from the camera for a long while to come.

At least today I styled it myself so it doesn' t look so much like a helmet. But I still don't like it. Uh, I mean hate it. Maybe I'll get used to it in tine, but for now I miss my hair.

What a Sonic Blast?

So tonight at 9pm I think I need a Holiday Mint Blast from Sonic. I asked Todd if he'd like to go with me and get anything. While laying on the couch watching TV , he surprisingly responded, "I don't want anything (surprise #1), but I'll go with you (surprise #2). I guess he thought I meant later because after practically running to get my keys, he noticed I meant NOW. :) I then had the most amazing and ingenius thought. "Honey, why don't we take the d-o-gs?" I let slip from my lips. Surprise #3 came when Todd thought that would be okay. Here comes the funny part of the story.

I get the dogs in the car which can be a feat within itself. That's about 225 pounds of dog flying up into the seats of my Pilot! Mackey, in all his beloved weirdness, couldn't figure out that we were going into the garage and just froze in the living room. I had to close the two big dogs up in the car while Todd carried Mackey from the house. Since the big dogs are so rambunctious, I recommended that Todd got in the front seat w/ Mack, and they held one another like long-lost lovers as I raced to Sonic to get my fix. Steve & Pippin had their heads hanging out of opposing windows, their beautiful ears and gums flapping in the wind while they inhaled all of the beautiful smells of Dallas & Richardson. On the way to Sonic, I just lost it - crying, wheezing, and likely peeing myself in laughter. Todd looked so VERY, INCREDIBLE, TOTALLY miserable. The look upon his face was like a p.o.w. down a hole with three hungry & excited dogs. Surprise #4: Todd did not find my uncontrollable laughter amusing. At all. Not a bit. Upon arriving at Sonic, I partially rolled down the back windows, got out of the car, & reached in to lay down the seats. The misery ended as Todd carefully hurtled Mack-Daddy into the back of the car & we gave the beasts some treats. Oh, and we got our shakes, too.

Well, maybe it's not so funny to you, but you aren't all sugared-up on a Holiday Mint Blast!

Here are the canines & humans of our family from our 2005 Xmas card. From L to R is Steve, Pippin & Mackey. (Kristin & Todd are the humans!)

I've Been Tagged

Thanks, Tracy. What else do people need to know about me that they haven't learned in my blog? I'm sure I'm quite a freakish creature, so coming up with only eight things shouldn't be too hard.

1. I'm deathly afraid of heights. I don't like being higher than the seat of a chair. Escalators, glass elevators, stairs, catwalks, ladders, & the like mortify me. Seriously. I will panic, my vision will go dark, and I'll often sit wherever I am if I get scared. In the past, I've been found sitting in the bottom of the car of an air gondola, on a catwalk in the middle of the mall & other strange places. From what I've been told by my mom, I fell down two flights of stairs when I was little. I wasn't physically injured, but my subconscious definitely remembers it. My mom said when I was little, I would completely freak out just sitting on the table in the doctors office. I've considered hypnosis but haven't done it yet. I don't know if I will either.

2. I have a slight case of OCD. Some people might beg to differ, stating that it's more than a slight case. I like things to be in balance. Parallel and perpendicular alignment floats my boat. Ask my class. If groups of their desks are caddywampus, we have to fix it. My team often teases me by threatening to move things around in my work area or classroom. Luckily, my OCD isn't anything near my fear of heights. If it were, I'd form a true circus show.

3. The veins on the top of my right foot form the letter K. I'm glad they don't form Kristin or I'd (again) have to join the circus.

4. I have been watching "All My Children" for over 25 years. Yes, since I was 13. I still DVR it every day, as if things in Pine Valley are really going to change.

5. I am severely challenged in the laundry management department. Getting the clothes in the washer isn't too tough. The dryer is a little more difficult. Getting clothes out of the dryer - a real problem. Moving them into my closet - wow. Getting them put away is the worst. I've thought about asking Roberta (the maid) to take care of my laundry, but (see #2) I'm scared she wouldn't do it 'right'. What 'right' is, I don't know because I don't have it right in the first place!

6. I once left three barfing girls in my classroom. Hey, at least I sent a kid for the nurse & custodian first. I panicked, began to gag, cleared the room of the rest of my class, & sent everyone home (the bell had just rang). The poor things were in my room barfing to beat the band. When I told my principal, she went in there to help. Thankfully the custodian took care of clean up. I almost died just going back in for my purse an hour later. Obviously, I don't do barf - even for myself.

7. I have a hole inside my nose. Gross? Yeah. But, I have a hole in my nose. A majority of my septum is gone thanks to multiple surgeries on my nose. It was repaired several years ago, but broke through again. I once (in a moment of irrationality) showed some 4th graders how I can shove a Kleenex up one side of my nose & pull it out of the other side. My own, personal, stupid human trick. You happy playing tag now, TayLynn??? ;)

8. I suppose I am a freak. I have many fears, many maladies, many idiosyncrasies, and many bad habits. I don't care really because being me isn't always that bad. I'm smart and funny and, by golly, people like me.

Lordy, Lordy I'm Almost 25

What the hell??? I'm almost 40? Wasn't I just 25? Wow!

There is absolutely no way I'll be 40 in less than three months. That's just rude. I could swear that I'm still in my late 20s. I can't believe March 5th will take me to somewhere near - even close to - the halfway point in my of life. I'm just not there yet. Seriously, I'm not.

It can't be so bad getting older. I mean, look at Mary the Great. She's much hotter than me and she's a great-grandmother. She was my grandmother before she was my age. And she's Mary the Great for heaven's sake! My mom is hot, too, and she's a grandmother! Thank goodness for super-genes and the ladies who gave them to me. You wanna see good genes????? Here:














Man, I love my mom and grandmother. They are not only hot and gorgeous, but strong, caring, loving, good cooks, beautiful, kind, and just amazing.

And, now, about those crows feet & the dent in my forehead . . . . . . . .

"Mary the Great"

My niece, Aeva Claire, combined the concept of great-grandmother with Mary & came up with "Mary the Great". Of course, Mary the Great loved it from the get-go and often signs her name that way now. :)

Mary's surgery didn't end until after 11:30 last night. She had about 4.5 feet of her colon removed. (I've heard the colon is about 17 ft.) The doctor said if Mary had waited another hour to come in, she probably wouldn't have made it. Family was finally able to see her around 1:00am and after I spoke with my mom, I went to bed around 2:00 with hopes that she'd be recovering today. Doctors anticipated that Mary would be fully sedated, intubated & in ICU for about three days, in a regular room about ten days, then to a rehab hospital for a few days before going home. That plan changed today.

Considering what she's been through, as of this evening Mary the Great is doing . . . great ! Doctors removed the breathing tube, Mary (when awake) is very alert and talkative. She makes perfect sense and was telling me everything that was on her schedule that needs to change. She remembers last night's nurse telling her how she went into nursing. She was telling my mom and I about company they have coming in after Xmas & how she was upset that there are Xmas decor boxes all over the house. She was her usual self by kidding with us and making smart remarks. Wonder if that's a family trait? :) Tomorrow Mary will get up and move around with help. She'll also start on liquids - yep, the delight of hospital broth, jello & popsicles.

So . . . Mary the Great is on the mend. Last night was very scary, but the light of day shows us a much better picture than anyone anticipated. The things Mary will do to get out of another round of chemo! I love the woman so much I gave her my favorite lip balm before I kissed her goodbye for the night. Seriously, Mary the Great is an amazingly strong & stubborn woman who is truly the matriarch of our crazy family. I know that's how she's made it this far. And I'm glad she has.

Prayers for My Mary

My beautiful, strong, resilient, amazing, caring, loving, and fighting grandmother needs your prayers. Long story made short, Mary has been fighting cancer since I was 12 - since 1980. She has gone in & out of remission and has been in a big battle for the past few years. Her husband of over fifteen years, Fritz, has been one of her biggest supporters in this battle. I know tonight he is extremely worried and scared - whether he's showing it or not.

As of right now, Mary had surgery & is in very guarded condition. I don't completely understand what is going on, but she's had colon surgery in which a large portion of her colon has been removed. Of course, with the ever/continual lack of communication in my family, I learned about this just a short time ago - after she was in surgery. ggrrrr. Mary was having abdominal pain and the doctors determined the need for immediate surgery. (One good thing is that her surgeon is a friend and neighbor, a very well-respected surgeon, who also did a minor surgery on my husband a couple of years ago.)

From what I can tell, Mary will be under heavy sedation & in the ICU for a minimum of three days due to her fragile condition. Only immediate family will be allowed to visit and doctors prefer there to be no communication so she can rest. If things go well, she will be moved to a regular room after that for about ten days and then to a rehabilitation facility to recuperate.

I'm at home right now (since it's almost 1am) and desperately want to be with Mary. I am praying that she will be okay and, although I think it may be, that this is not the 'beginning of the end' for her. Please pray with me for Mary's recovery, and please pray for Fritz because I know he, along with the rest of us, is scared out of his mind.

Mary & I at one of our wedding showers, Feb. 2007.

Just Any Other Day?

When someone has a birthday, friends and loved ones usually remember to wish them a happy birthday. When a couple has an anniversary, sometimes family and friends wish them a happy anniversary. On the anniversary of when someone dies, even fewer people remember. Perhaps they remember that sad day but avoid it because it's either too painful to deal with, or they don't want to create pain for those that love the one who is gone.

Some people (like myself) are good at remembering dates. We have calendars that help remind us. I can tell you many of the dates for friends' birthdays & anniversaries- even people I may not see anymore. While through the years I've gotten worse at calling, sending cards, or emailing people on their special days, I always remember them. I oftentimes remember the anniversary dates of the dates of family and friends, and sometimes I even contact their loved ones if I think it's appropriate.

(Note: I guess this is where my pity party begins. I'm not writing this for sympathy or to make people feel bad. I write this blog for me, so I can journal whatever is on my mind when I write.)

Today is my due date. Yes, the due date for the baby that Todd and I will never see. The date for the first baby we lost. It is the due date for what should have been a beautiful time in our lives. It is the due date for what should have been the beginning of our family. I mean, it would be inappropriate for me to run around like it was my birthday & say, "Oh - today was my due date!" Not that I really care any more, but that would make people uncomfortable. Instead, it's just another day. At least it is to everyone but me.

So today, I mourn our loss. I mourn what should have been and is not. I mourn that I can't really even tell anyone around me. I mourn that nobody even knows. And I mourn that I have to have this same damn kind of day in another 3 1/2 months. Today just sucks and I'm so sad.