What I Learned This Weekend

** Cue up the theme music from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy **

Things I Learned This Weekend:

1. If you can't feel the fingertips on your left hand, it's best not to use that hand while working in the kitchen.

2. To revive the feelings of pain in numb fingertips, try to cut one off & burn the other. It works like a charm. If you're not really positive if they hurt, run them under some hot water to make sure.

3. Tired dogs = sleeping dogs = quiet house

4. It's best to cook rice a bit before baking it unless you like some crunchy texture.

5. 1.5 year old M&Ms still taste good if they are personalized with your names, wedding date & hidden in a baggie beneath a dark cabinet.

6. Sauvingon Blanc + M&Ms = yum

7. If you step in dog shit while cooking dinner barefooted in the kitchen, check with the dogs have your husband check his shoes.

8. Papers do NOT grade themselves, but you'll look busy and important carrying them in & out of school each day.

9. If your husband is yelling from the back of the house, he's either calling for you or talking to his mother on the phone.

10. When your mom says she'll meet you at the dog park & then mentions she needs to return the pillows she borrowed, expect to see her walking down the trail to the dog park with two huge, pink pillows underarm. :)

11. If you're cooking potato salad for your husband's friends' party, make sure he hasn't taken the mustard to work and left it there. If so, sub dry mustard & any other mustard-like product you can find in your house. Then pray you don't embarass yourself with the dish you bring.

12. Sleep is HIGHLY underrated.

13. A raise is a raise. Take it if you get it, no matter what it is.

14. When you get frustrated with your husband, pets, or anyone else in your life, remember that somebody - somewhere - is wishing they had a husband, pet or someone else to be frustrated with in the first place.

Have a great week!!!